An activist, writer and poet, Julia suggested that June 2 be annually celebrated as Mother’s Day and should be dedicated to peace. She wrote a passionate appeal to women and urged them to rise against war in her famous Mothers Day Proclamation, written in Boston in 1870. She also initiated a Mothers’ Peace Day observance on the second Sunday in June in Boston in reaction to the vast number of mother’s left childless after the brutal Franco-Prussian War. Julia’s idea spread in New England, but given the limitations of 19^th century communication, it did not gain widespread attention.

In the early 1900’s, Anna Jarvis got the inspiration of celebrating Mothers Day from her own mother, Mrs. Anna Marie Reeves Jarvis – yet another social activist. Mrs. Jarvis used to express her desire that someday, someone must honor all mothers, living and dead, and pay tribute to the contributions made by them.

A loving daughter, Anna never forgot her mother’s words and when her mother died in 1905, she resolved to fulfill her mothers dream. A year later, Anna began campaigning for a day on which all Americans would celebrate their moms. After spreading the word through church meetings and writing letters to government representatives and businessmen, she had nearly all 46 states observing Mother’s Day within three years. On May 8, 1914 President Woodrow Wilson signed a Joint Resolution designating the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day.

Since then, Americans have found different ways to show they care, including wearing pink or white carnations in honor of Mom, making her breakfast in bed, and buying her expensive jewels (hint, hint). Here, a look at how moms have been celebrated throughout history. P.S. You may want to stick with flowers and a card.

• People in ancient Greece paid tribute to Rhea, the mother of the gods, with honey cakes, fine drinks, and flowers at dawn. This was the earliest Mother’s Day celebration.
• In Britain, during the Middle Ages, it was customary for the wealthy to give servants the day off on Mothering Sunday (the fourth Sunday of Lent) so they could visit their mothers, who often lived far away.
• In Serbia, Mother’s Day is called Materice and is celebrated on the second Sunday before Christmas. Children sneak into their mother’s bedroom and gently tie her feet with ribbon or string. To negotiate her release, the mother gives her children small gifts. Not much in it for Mom, but she does get to lie down for a bit. And on Children’s Day, moms return the favor, extracting promises of good behavior.

As for Jarvis, she devoted her last years to de-commercializing Mother’s Day, because she felt its original meaning had been lost. So when you honor your mother this year, remember Jarvis’s simple description of the day’s purpose: “To let (mothers) know we appreciate them, though we do not show it as often as we ought.”

Today I received the best gift God has ever given me; my baby girl. If something were to happen to me, my wife, who is now a stay at home mom, would have to support our new baby girl on a social security check that is merely a quarter of what I bring home; pay our debts, which have grown with our income of approximately $600,000; and send our child to college, which in 18 years will amount to over $200,000 at the current rate of inflation. Oh, by the way, my wife will need to go back to work.

Today my son entered my business. I never dreamt this day would come and I am confident my business will remain successful after I am gone. But wait, what about my daughter? I have nothing to leave her. What will the holidays be like after I am gone…will they fight? Will I ruin their relationship?

Today my granddaughter lost her parents. She is a senior now and looking to go to Harvard University. After paying the debts on her parents’ estate; there is no money left, and I fear her dreams are broken. If there were only something I could do, but I am retired.

Today my wife died of breast cancer. I plan to give as much as I can to research for curing this disease so my granddaughter can live with hope, but I also want to leave a legacy to my grandsons. How do I choose?

Today I turn 85 years old. I did not know I could count that high and I did not know my estate would have grown so much during my retirement. Uncle Sam tells me he is going to take 45% of my estate if I die today.

This is the story of one man who had 6 wishes for permanent life insurance:

• » In his 20′s, life insurance was a tool to replace cash flow and eliminate debts in the event of the unexpected;
• » In his 30′s and 40′s, life insurance was a tool to replace cash flow, eliminate debts, pay the education of his children and provide a retirement for his wife in the event of the unexpected;
• » In his 50′s, life insurance was a tool to equalize inheritances;
• » In his 60′s, life insurance was a tool to send his granddaughter to school by withdrawals or loans against the cash value;
• » In his 70′s, life insurance was a tool to replace charitable gifts from his estate;
• » In his 80″s, life insurance was a tool to help pay estate taxes with the help of trust planning;

What are your wishes and concerns? Should you act now? Or will you have regret when you can no longer get it or afford it?

Smith encourages couples to talk about their finances in detail before or no later than six months into a marriage. The first step is pulling together a big-picture assessment that balances the needs of the new family with any obligations to, well, pre-existing families. “By listing all financial considerations on a ‘needs’ worksheet with a financial advisor, new spouses can develop a financial structure and estate plan designed not to blow up,” says Smith.

Talking It Over
Indeed, discussing your finances can be uncomfortable. “The end of a [previous] marriage is often a crash course in finances, and one of the last things people want to revisit upon remarriage is their finances,” says Smith. “But it’s important to look at your financial psychological history and identify your hot buttons, because there can be real issues. You don’t want to recreate past experiences that can negatively impact the new marriage.” For example, an occurrence such as receiving a late bill notice or not knowing the status of a checking account might trigger an emotional reaction in one spouse – anger, mistrust, sadness or feelings of inadequacy – that may seem illogical to the other.

“Money is psychological,” says Smith, “and in a remarriage it’s loaded. It’s about how people feel about their kids or step-kids or an ex-spouse.” Bringing in a financial advisor who can help mediate the conversation and walk through the pros, cons and options of merging finances can be helpful. “The more neutrality a third person can bring,” says Smith, “the more a couple can decide together what their financial future looks like.”

Merging Your Assets
When looking at how to handle your money as a couple, there are three general models. Smith suggests thinking about it in terms of different “pots,” or groupings of assets:

• One Pot: By putting all accounts under joint names, assets are pooled and expenses are drawn from there. “This works well for couples with no kids, no ongoing financial obligations and similar spending habits,” says Smith.
• Two Pots: Each person keeps his or her income, savings and investments separate. This works best for very autonomous people, but the downside is that you may spend a lot of time negotiating or arguing about who is paying for what, especially when it comes to the household or vacations. “One way to counter that is to negotiate ahead of time exactly how joint expenses will work,” says Smith. “And put it in writing so you don’t have to revisit the conversation every month, which can be draining.”
• Three Pots: A blend of the first two methods. The couple retains individual accounts – and the independence that allows – along with a joint account for shared expenses. Smith suggests the three-pot method for remarried individuals, especially those with special circumstances such as children or large amounts of individual debt.

Creating an Estate Plan
Though it often takes a crisis for people to deal with their finances, says Smith, it is essential to revisit your estate plan when you remarry. Following are some key areas to review with your financial advisor:

• Pre- or Post-Nuptial Agreements: While your financial advisor cannot draft this legal agreement, he or she can offer guidance to help determine what financial facts and assets should be included in such a document. Considerations include mortgages, equity lines, investments, credit-card debt, pledges to charity and income from all sources, including retirement accounts, insurance coverage and expected inheritances.
• Beneficiary Designations: “Upon remarriage, one of the most frequently overlooked changes is the beneficiary of life insurance,” says Smith. “If the ex-spouse is still listed, that can cause serious problems later.” Be sure to update any documents that name a direct beneficiary including your will, retirement plans and life insurance policies, “as soon as possible to make sure your intentions are expressed in writing,” she says.
• Trusts: Many types of trusts can be set up to further your estate planning, especially if there are significant assets or children from previous marriages to provide for. Talk to us and your estate attorney about the best options for your situation.
• Taxes: Lastly you’ll need to determine whether to file a joint or individual tax return. Work closely with your financial advisor and CPA to determine which approach is best for your circumstances.

We always talk about what it means to “Live Life on Purpose.” That concept is a little different for everyone, but there is one constant: Everyone wants to get rid of the complexity and stress in their life so that they can have the freedom to focus on the things in life that are most important to them. Once you know the complete picture of what is brought into the mix a remarriage and have a plan, you have arrived at the easy part. Take action!

Securities & Advisory Services offered through VSR Financial Services, Inc., a Registered Investment Adviser and Member FINRA/SIPC. Kennedy Financial Services is independent of VSR Financial Services, Inc. Kennedy Financial Services is not engaged in rendering legal or tax advice.